Something has been weighing on me for a while and came to a bit of a head today. This is my blog and I intend to vent here. Read if you will. I’ve been doing CrossFit for almost 3 years now. I started at a weight of about 152lbs and a body fat percentage close to 20%. Each year since then I have lost body fat and gained I’d guess about 4lbs of muscle. This year I’m almost back to the weight I began at, but I look nothing like I did, nor do I feel like it. Somewhere along the way I realized that to be the best at this sport I was going to have to forgo looking as feminine for a while, and I decided I was ok with that. To be honest I’m more than ok with that, because I F*’n love what I do and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I love feeling strong, I love surpassing what I believed my body would ever be capable of doing at this age, and I love laying on the ground after a WOD totally spent. What bothers me are some people’s comments who just don’t “get it” and here are some responses I would like to give them:
- “You must be on something to get that strong and be lean like that” – The only thing I’m on is
And Progenex… If you really think I need to take something to get this strong and be lean then… thank you!
- “How much bigger do you want to get?” – I don’t even comprehend what you’re saying to me. Do you actually think I look in a mirror when I workout? The only thing I look at is Coach’s Eye on my phone and I’m focusing on the finish of my second pull, not the size of any part of me. My goal is to snatch 200lbs, run a sub 6min. mile, and win the CrossFit Games. I could care less how big I am when I do those things, except that running a mile that fast at a certain weight would probably become impossible!
- “You look manly” – This is my favorite :/ I can only come up with two things on this one. Either the people saying it are so intimidated and insecure that they have to say something like this to make themselves feel better. Or what I prefer to think is, as long as you’re doing something worthwhile there are going to be haters. Seriously, I’ve thought it over and I could easily stop lifting and eating so many calories and get skinny at any time. It’s easy to “lose muscle”. Just sit on your ass. Do I choose to come home and sit on the couch after work, because someone hurt my feelings? Hell no. I’m not here to live my life as they see fit. I’ll let them do that!
- I got a letter once from a fan whose daughter had said the women on the CrossFit Games were “too muscular” and they wanted me to write her as to why “strong is beautiful”. This is at the heart of what bothers me. I feel our society is way too focused on vanity and aesthetics. In all honesty I felt sexier 12lbs lighter when I looked like this:
- But did I enjoy sitting on an elliptical as much as I did competing in the CrossFit Games, which I’m going to get to watch on ESPN2 tomorrow? Do you even have to ask that?! Do you think that the women running the 100m dash in the final heat of the Olympics and trying to win gold are worrying about if their thighs look big? No, I think they’re focused on being the fastest people on the freaking planet, and that’s pretty bad ass if you ask me. I was never sure what to tell this person then, but now I would like to tell them to refocus their child on what’s important. i.e. what are they truly passionate about and making sure they know regardless of what they look like it matters more that they can sincerely say…
Of course it would be pretty admirable if she could squat 300lbs too, but that’s only if she wanted to.
I hope my ranting on this helped more than just me. I have trained my body for different sports and while I can say I loved gymnastics most, I feel healthier and more rounded doing CrossFit. The focus is on performance, not appearance and I love that. Sometimes people ask me if I want to do fitness pageants and the answer is NO! I’m not a show pony in a bikini and stripper heels with fake tanner at the mercy of subjective judges. What I do resonates as the time on a stop watch and the weight on a bar. It’s beautiful in its simplicity of measurement and beautiful in the virtuosity the human body is capable of. In this way it’s beautiful in its strength, but it’s deeper than an image. If you don’t understand what I mean, check the premises of what you place your values on.
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Talayna
I loved reading this, firstly you are a true inspiration in fact your profile is pinned on my corkboard here at work as inspiration. I have come from competing in figure/fitness competitions looking like a over tanned anatomy poster, feeling so weak and letting a bunch of majority male judges pull apart my body composition and proportion. I have fallen in love with crossfit, this is what it feels like to be the strongest, fastest and jump the highest I possibly can. I hope to qualify for regional’s early next year here in Australia. People ask me why I do this, what I am training for? Leas your so fit you don’t need to diet or train that hard. Haha my ‘diet’ is healthy and I eat SO much good nutritional food and train 1 to 2 hours a day, these people along with myself sit in an office 8 hours a day. That’s the least I can do. Seriously!
You are awesome! Strong, sexy and a true inspiration to me and LOTS of others. Keep on keeping on!
I like the attached picture
Leasa Franks
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Awesome post T!!
Criticism is often a projection of the critic’s personal fears and failures. 1. “You must be on something.” = “Hopefully you cheat, then that justifies my failure of discipline in trying to achieve something similarly spectacular.” 2. “How much bigger do you want to get?” = “My genetics suck, why can’t I get any bigger?” 3. “You look manly.” = “Your strong physique emasculates me.” 4. “Too muscular.” = “Athletic and strong women give me cognitive dissonance because pop culture has programmed me to value another female aesthetic.”
Don’t let the vocal minority sow the seeds of doubt in your mind. Haters are either poison or fuel, the secret is that only you get to decide between the two. You have defined goals that are based in positivity, you’re working toward them, they bring you joy, no further assessment is required. As Cappadonna said in Milk the Cow, “My mother told me when I was so stressed out, all you gotta do is put your best out…and I did it.”
By the way, as a red-blooded, testosterone-filled, filthy-minded American man, I think you’re sexy as hell and would crawl through Shawshank sewage to spend some time with you.
This is some inspirational stuff Brad. Thanks.
Great response Brad.
Amazing words of wisdom. Its great to hear this from a man.
I LOVE this!! Thank you so much! Couldn’t agree with you more!! Two thumbs UP!!
)
Thank you. Every single word of this post makes sense and is fantastic. I coach a women’s only class and so often I tell them how i am trying to “get huge so I can squat huge” and it’s fun to watch them evolve from when they start to wanting the same thing. This society is really sad in what it defines as “attractive”… For me… I’d take any woman at the crossfit games, hell any woman at a crossfit regionals, body over anything in Hollywood ANYDAY! Thank you for inspiring!
Talayna,
please never stop writing this blog!
A totally amazing post! It has taken me almost 37 years on this planet to get to this same understanding about weight, food and body image, but I finally got it!!! It was a major WFM – wholly “f” moment. But when you finally understand, nothing can stop you! Thanks so much for sharing, you are an inspiration.
Spider Monkey,
If you look “manly” then my perceotion of what’s attractive in a woman needs some serious re-evaluating. Until then… I guess you’ll have to remain the hottest “man” I’ve seen.
Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing.
No offense, but “fuck’em all”. Every bit of pain, sweat, sacrifice, and dedication has earned you the right to be who you are
What you do is an inspiration to all of us struggling to achieve the perfect fitness level. Keep doing what you are doing, you look AMAZING you are AMAZING and some people will always critize what they can’t achieve .
Reblogged this on Become Unafraid and commented:
For all the CrossFit nay-sayers out there. Beautiful.
Couldn’t agree more with you. The same Things i have to argue about with other people all day. You are so right and thanks for that post…
By the way. you are sooo much attractive and please keep on writing this blog!!
Great post from a spectacular athlete. You inspire me to pick up the barbell more than You will ever know. I specially love when You talk about what’s important….Yes your time on a WOD&how much weight you can lift. We are measured by our performance, You are a ROCKSTAR.
I too have heard the “don’t get too muscualr like a man” comment &You are correct it comes from people that don’t understand any of it.
We shall continue lifting, running&sweating our tight perky asses until we so desire because it feels great to be measured by what we can do¬ only by how we LOOK
By the way, I think You LOOK GREAT
Stay strong&continue to inspire
Thanks for the inspirational post. After a year and a half of crossfit and a gain in 15 pounds (and I’m a chica!!), I realize that I look and feel better than ever. My performance in other athletic endeavors has improved. And here’s the kicker, I obviously have more muscle but I’m leaner than I’ve ever been. It took me a while to accept this but God gave me an ass/hips/thighs and I’m damn proud of them now!
Great blog, my wife recently started CF about 6 months ago and she “used” to have similar views. Now she is leaner and stronger and “LOVES ” it. Strong women are beautiful women!
Thank you for this! Since finding CF a little over a year ago, my attitude toward my body has completely changed. It is not about how I look or how much I weigh anymore – it is about what my body can DO and how much weight I can put on the bar and how much I can improve my times. If only every woman could have such a life-changing attitude adjustment! Talayna, you are an inspiration to every woman who wants to get better, faster and stronger, and for the record, you are HOT! =)
Right on! Crossfiters are athletes not show ponys!
Well said, Paige!
Thank you sooooooo much for sharing this. As a girl who played rugby and loves to lift weights just because. I have felt alone in being comfortable and content for not being 5’8 and 130lbs. What an encouragement and a breath of fresh air you have just created. Way to be empowering Talayna
I love this post! It bothers me so much when I hear other people judging the physical appearance of the female competitor. it more than bothers me, it pisses me off. I’m looking at people who come to the gym and work out hard and then complain that they’re not as good as they want to be; then they judge the women who are stronger than them and better athletes and because they can’t pick at their performance, they pick at their physical appearance. For the record, you don’t look manly.
Love it! Thanks for sharing- it really helps to hear it from you one of the best in CrossFit. I hear this all the time and I’m not even as strong and talented as you. I hope to one day even have a goal like snatching 200#. Thanks for the encouragement to ignore the rest and keep picking up the barbell!
you are amazing. Love your message and you, my friend, are as beautiful as they come!
Talayna:
As a female who’s background includes competitive gymnastics, I know what you mean about enjoying training it, but not enjoying the sheer pressure of,”be an amazing athlete… but be thin… smile pretty to the judges.. but don’t cry or show weakness if you fumble…” the list goes on and on. I found Crossfit 2 years ago and have fallen in love with it. I currently coach Crossfit in Pompano, FL. My husband had the amazing oppurtunity to watch you in California and said what an amazing athlete you are…. and then, I ended up competing against you at the Crossfit Summer Crush Games! I watched you in awe as you plowed through that heavy Fran and all I can say is thank you for being such an amazing inspiration to myself and all other athletes with a dream. You are an incredible person, and athlete.
Keep on crushin’ it.
Whitney
[...] came across this post by Talayna Fortunato (shame on you if you don’t know who she is). I have to say (as someone [...]
I concur. Straight heat & truth!! Keep up the good work! XFIT ROCKS!!
[...] a really good blog post I saw on that earlier [...]
LOVE this! Thanks for posting it.
Don’t let the haters grind you down! Do what you like. You can never please everyone, but you can please yourself.
[...] of the Day: Be more than beautiful (by: Taylana Fortunado) – LADIES you all need to read this! Below is a small [...]
Love every word! And you look beautiful,btw….and that comes more from being happy than what a fat caliper or scale tells ya! Enjoyed watching you win the obstacle course, (again (: )!
Good read, a issue that repeatedly comes up! Love it
Awesome post!!
Talayna,
You is beautiful! I rather look like you, than a 12 year old boy any day! You are an inspiration!
Naima
“Check your premises.” Ayn Rand… nice! =D
Yes!
I used to think the skinny magazine ad, nice legging and boot wearing models were the ideal to strive for. Now that I’m older and wiser I feel blessed to have a booty to call my own and the quads and shoulders to make it hot! You ROCK! Screw the naysayers
Talayna -
Thank you for the post. It’s a great read. For my .02 – I remember watching you compete at WODaPalooza with my buddy Brett. And we watched your butterfly pullups amazed. And then you about knocked yourself out – at least it seemed that way when you cracked your chin on the bar – but you finished. And I remember saying to Brett something to the effect of – that chick’s a fuckin bad ass!
And then at the CFGs this year – during the 9 Rd of FRAN – I’m watching with my daughter and thinking back to WODaPalooza – and I said “Kendall (my daughter), she’s got this. Fortunato’s gonna place 3rd. And she asked how I knew that. And I told “She’s going unbroken. She’s got this SHIT.” And you did. And we hugged afterward.
Keep it up. You are inspiring.
TK
Talayna,
Thank you for posting this.
I actually got a comment yesterday (not verbatim, but close to) “Your muscles have gotten bigger, have you been lifting heavy weights?”
I couldn’t help but shrink into myself a little.
Thankfully CrossFit challenges my perception of myself and how I’m seen by others every time I step into the gym. And thankfully in this community we have athletes like you to inspire us. You can do such amazing things.
You is awesome. And I can’t wait for the Outlaw Camp in Sydney in Jan 2013.
All the best for your training and life.
-J
This morning as I sit on the couch drinking my coffee and just before my little girls wake up I had the privilege of reading your post. As an athlete I am inspired, as a husband of a beautiful and strong woman I am proud and as a father of two amazing young ladies I am grateful.
Also- as an educator of future healthcare professionals I am impressed.
Thanks for this blog so very true and @ 45 working with two awesome kids, crossfitting and shooting for the Masters next year I do struggle with the too much muscle thing especially now that skinny jeans are in!! But at the end of the day when my husband still grabs me after 25 years together and says “God I love that butt” who needs skinny jeans!!! The other day my 13 year old who is built just like me and a fastpitch softball pitcher with shoulders that are amazing, was trying on dresses and said Ugh, they don’t make clothes for us strong girls! I was so glad she said strong and knows it’s awesome to be just that:)
For the record, you are big, strong, and damn sexy.
Good read, keep at it, and f those haters.
I never leaves reply’s on blogs. But this is crazy. Whoever said you look “manly” needed their eyes checked. You are beautiful. You look healthy and strong, and I can only hope that though my workouts I will look (and feel) Half as good as you. I’m sorry people suck and that you get comments like that. I liked your post:)
Talayna,
As a fellow Crossfit nut, it’s a blast to watch you compete. It’s always fun to watch an athlete excel and visibly enjoy pushing herself the way you do.
As a guy, I have to say that you should give no disclaimers or qualifiers about your appearance. You are beautiful.
Most importantly, you’re an inspiration to the father of a sixteen-year old girl. I’ve just introduced her to Crossfit, and a big part of my motivation for doing so was after seeing amazing young women like you. She is inspired by women such as you, and I could think of nothing more wonderful than to have my daughter model herself after you and the other female crossfit competitors.
AWESOME!! Do your thing girl! You truly inspire many people in the CrossFit community including myself. If it is only the CrossFit community that understands then who gives a chit!(that is my CrossFit elitism of the day). You look amazing so let the haters hate, and just keep moving forward.
Talayna,
You are a superb human being… A real super hero… I admire you so much and thank you for your gift to us… Your humble real super inspiring self!!!!!
XO
Perla Fitch De Roberts
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[...] Be More Than Beautiful, Be Inspiring. by Talayna Fortunato [...]
<3!!!
Freakin love it!!! Thanks for venting!
Love the article! I’m in the Crossfit works and wished I looked like you
Robbie, you could run for president, for real !!! Don’t take this wrong but I think you are sexy also!!!!!!!!!!!
AGREE! You absolutely hit the nail on the head with your comments! Yes, it is frustrating listening to the people who don’t “get it” but half of what we do is because we are mentally strong. Unbreakable physically and mentally. I let it roll because I’m confident in who I am and what I CAN DO. There is no stopping you Talayna!
BTW…I met your mom at the Games in Cali while eating lunch at a restarurant…she was sweet. I was in a dress, no crossfit gear, and she approached me and asked if I was competing in the GAMES. She said I had the body of a competitor. That was the utlitmate compliment! Good luck in 2013!
HA, she’s so cute sometimes. She couldn’t stop smiling that week.
Hey Talayna,
I think you and other CrossFit chicks are hot, maybe I am a bit biased because I have been brain washed by CrossFit but thats my opinion for what its worth. I respect anyone dedicated to excellence, so keep kicking arse and forget about the haters.
Peace
Jan
This article is wonderful! My daughters who are 9 and 11 love Crossfit because they have seen my transformation in the 9 months, 30 pounds and 11 inches… More importantly they have seen my confidence come back after a devastating job loss and subsequent depression. We watched the Games as a family and our task was to choose someone we thought would win. Both of my daughters made their selections on I formation from the athlete bio segments and not by what you all looked like. While they DO brag to their friends about Mommy’s biceps they totally get that life isn’t about what you look like. as a 50 year old Mom from a track and field background I have always understood this… You are our famy role model and this article solidifies that! Love, Molly, Gracie, and Mommy!
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CrossFit women are sexy as fuck!
Athletes like you are the reason girls are secure with themselves through those adolescent years..
What’s up, I check your new stuff on a regular basis. Your writing style is witty, keep doing what you’re doing!
Well said. For the record, I don’t think you look “manly” as I don’t know many men who are as ripped as you. I think you look dedicated to health and committed to CrossFit.
Thank you for turning me on to Crossfit. I am looking further into it now.
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While you spend time in grooming your hair and skin, finger nails and toe nails are often ignored
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It’s always interesting to read articles from other authors and use a little something from their web sites.
Talayna Hi You are impressive. At the 2012 Crossfit Games – Were you 152 – at that level of fitness? You looked great and performed better than great. Also did I see somewhere ‘here’ that Your Height is 5’8″ ?
The reason I ask – I have a friend who has your basic physique – and she is fixated on being 135 ? I am trying to convey to her – ‘doing’ things and ‘being’ lean.. The scale will take care of itself
Steve.
Hi Steve-
I was about 149 training for the Games and maybe 147 after the couple weeks leading up to it as I cut out some of the ridiculous amounts of peanut butter I’d been eating. I am 5’7″. I weighed 135 when I did gymnastics in college and I would have had no hope of even carrying enough muscle to squat or press the amount of weight I am capable of now at that weight. I have had to sort of let go of the scale myself through CrossFit. I started at about the same weight I am now. Maybe 151, but it was a very different 151. I wore a size 6-8 and now I’m more like a 4. Things were distributed all differently. I feel much better and lighter now, even at the same weight. I am constantly underestimated on my weight by people who don’t understand what muscle weighs and that’s fine. Scale doesn’t mean a thing, it’s how you feel and what you can do. The what you look like part is usually just a bonus.
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